Thursday, January 10, 2008

T13 - trying the fathoms...

80,000 fathoms beneath the sea is a creature called:

Man Reasoning.

A woman needs a submarine to fathom them and even then ????

1. WHY is it okay when he tells you to park here? If I tell him, it's nagging. He tells me and it's supposed to be a gentle nudge of logic.

2. WHY don't men ask directions? Need I say more?

3. WHAT'S wrong with the lights? Red means stop, green means go. WHY drive 60 kilometres the other way to avoid the lights. Especially when it was man that invented the damn things.

4. WHY do men think it's strange to rinse the dishes before they go into the diswasher? It's not an insinkerator. And the stuff'll smell if you don't start the machine for a couple of days.

5. WHY, when I tell him he needs something new, I mean half a dozen, yet he'll go all the way to the shop and buy one?

6. WHY, when he does the dishes, is there always 'something' he's missed washing or putting away?

7. WHY do I bother ironing his t-shirts? I put them into very satisfyingly neat little piles and the following week, when my next little pile goes in, the previous one needs ironing again? (This question is really Why am I so stupid?)

8. WHY do I have to tell him that mowing the lawn is dangerous in thongs? Am I the Goddess of Safety? Why would goggles when cutting wood be such a good idea. Is it just me and the one who invented them that can see the potential accident waiting for your husband to happen?

9. WHY are the singlets and tee shirts always inside out? ... ??? ...

10. WHY does he hate going to the supermarket with me? We only go for two or three things, but honestly, can I help it if I see fifty other things I needed. Lightbulbs? Matches? Candles for the next blackout?

11. WHY does he think pockets are for putting things in? No they aren't. Women have it right. They keep the stuff in their bags. No, not him. Still, I guess he thinks it's fun finding the biro in the bottom of the washing machine, or the business card from his shirt pocket? It used to be fun. I did fund some jewellery with washed coins I'd save from them into high numbers from this little caper, but he discovered my secret and bought a coin pouch. Since then it's been a desert of biros and business cards all the way.

12. WHY doesn't he think that hanging his jacket evenly on the coathanger might stop it from getting odd little bumps in it?

13. WHY is this creature so sort after by we women? Some of us marry them in job lots, up to three and four repeat times? Some of us write romances based on this strange creature. What is it about women that they'd punish themselves like this? I mean, all it gets us is a strange creature who does all of the above. Gives us a few babies, some of which might be carbon copies and turn into 13 year olds. Do I need to hang onto one of these strange creatures because they can tune the television?/open bottle tops?/hold an awful kishke-jarring thing called a lawn mower?/change car tyres?/unflatten flat batteries?/carry suitcases?/reads my m/s without complaint?/likes my cooking?/is my best friend?/oh heck... I'd hate to see his T13 on me up on cloud 9.

I do love that Hewhowouldlovetobeobeyed.

3 comments:

Gina Ardito said...

You have a dishwashing model? Lucky you! As to why, who knows?

Zee said...

Two days ago was the FIRST time in twelve years that my submarine captain shopped for clothes. Really. I herded him into the dressing room and we established a size for his pants. Wow. I had given him shirts (he wrote a list for Christmas, I followed it, buying all 4 shirts. What did he say? Why did I buy the shirts. I said, they were on your list. He said, that didn't mean he wanted ALL of them. Oh! Grrr). Anyway, we took back 2. To thwart him, I did not take a credit to my credit card. I made the store give him a gift card for the money. Hence, he bought pants. BUT...and this kills me. He bought pants on sale, and used a $10 USD off coupon, so he still has nearly $100 left on that gift card. Trust me... he will have it when he dies in 25 years.

Why do we love shopping? He often asks me that. I say, "What's not to love?"

KV said...

Awwww, Miss Penny -- now you know that wonderful husband of yours is a terrific guy, right?

I can't believe you are still ironing that stuff!!!!!

Lotsa love,

Kathy V in NM