Monday, December 26, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Winter is lingering.
I feel summery sometimes but I am a winter person. Maybe I was a polar bear in a former life? But I wouldn't have been a successful one because I'd hate to go fishing for dinner in the icey Arctic waters. I'm always cold.
Isn't funny how we always kind of think of ourselves in a former life as something constructive. Like... have you ever imagined you might have been a rattle snake? Or a rose bug who eats precious garden roses?
Or even a bag of compost - ie. thousands of tiny pieces of a horse's excrement?
But I am not really thinking of former lives at the moment. Now is really coping with the end of a life. A life of a talented woman, always proud and well dressed. One who prided herself on how she presented and conducted her life. Perhaps a little vain because she had plenty to be vain about. She was Grace Kelly beautiful. She painted and sang like a bird. She should have been famous in some way, but held back by a selfish very vain mother who sacrificed her family for her own selfish objectives. But...
Now the fading or even faded beauty has gone, and left in its place a shadow. One who shuffles down the hall of a behind-locked-doors old age facility. Shuffles off to a dining room where she indulges in overeating, something she's never done before. Is grossly overweight and has less of a memory than a goldfish.
For years she and my father turned up on a regular basis at the doctors to overdose on drugs they didn't need so many of, and looked after their health. My father died almost in his sleep. My mother isn't. She's as healthy as a horse where it doesn't count. She cannot do anything with her day except eat. I don't want to end up like this. They say it's only those left behind that suffer sadness but for my own personal ambitions, I don't want to leave anyone feeling this sad and sorry for me.
This person used to be my mother. Now she's just another vegetable. Is this to be my inheritance. Relief when she is no longer with us? Don't answer this question unless you are in the same boat because you will never never know what this feels like unless you are.
Isn't funny how we always kind of think of ourselves in a former life as something constructive. Like... have you ever imagined you might have been a rattle snake? Or a rose bug who eats precious garden roses?
Or even a bag of compost - ie. thousands of tiny pieces of a horse's excrement?
But I am not really thinking of former lives at the moment. Now is really coping with the end of a life. A life of a talented woman, always proud and well dressed. One who prided herself on how she presented and conducted her life. Perhaps a little vain because she had plenty to be vain about. She was Grace Kelly beautiful. She painted and sang like a bird. She should have been famous in some way, but held back by a selfish very vain mother who sacrificed her family for her own selfish objectives. But...
Now the fading or even faded beauty has gone, and left in its place a shadow. One who shuffles down the hall of a behind-locked-doors old age facility. Shuffles off to a dining room where she indulges in overeating, something she's never done before. Is grossly overweight and has less of a memory than a goldfish.
For years she and my father turned up on a regular basis at the doctors to overdose on drugs they didn't need so many of, and looked after their health. My father died almost in his sleep. My mother isn't. She's as healthy as a horse where it doesn't count. She cannot do anything with her day except eat. I don't want to end up like this. They say it's only those left behind that suffer sadness but for my own personal ambitions, I don't want to leave anyone feeling this sad and sorry for me.
This person used to be my mother. Now she's just another vegetable. Is this to be my inheritance. Relief when she is no longer with us? Don't answer this question unless you are in the same boat because you will never never know what this feels like unless you are.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Ever get the feelin'
Ever get the feeling you are the only feather in the cap? That the blog is falling on deaf ears? That you are ringing the bell, ie., pulling the rope but the dingaling is missing? That you are making pea and ham soup but forgot to buy the ham? That you have a television but lost the remote control?
Um...
what the heck. At least the blog is being utilized today, and who knows, one day when I am really, really famous, somebody will be sorry they missed my famous tomes.
I really hate these phone calls from India at dinner time. They try to sell me all sorts of things. Holiday resort packages. Cheap holidays if I change electricity provider. Make my current cell phone redundant. Casino deals.
I usually hate their calls and do the Seinfeld thing. I ask them for their phone number and I'll ring them back at my convenience. They hang up.
The latest opinion poll was for what men want. Guess. How did you guess so quickly?
Yes. They want beautiful women with big breasts. They like beautiful women with big breasts and an open pleasant personality. They like beautiful women who want plenty of sex. For this a poll was wasted? For this some academic has written a Ph.d?
But I can do an opinion poll and save money on what women want.
George Clooney and a very large bank account. You see? It works both ways. And if Clooney isn't available then the large bank account will do. So? Okay! I'm not fussy!!!
Um...
what the heck. At least the blog is being utilized today, and who knows, one day when I am really, really famous, somebody will be sorry they missed my famous tomes.
I really hate these phone calls from India at dinner time. They try to sell me all sorts of things. Holiday resort packages. Cheap holidays if I change electricity provider. Make my current cell phone redundant. Casino deals.
I usually hate their calls and do the Seinfeld thing. I ask them for their phone number and I'll ring them back at my convenience. They hang up.
The latest opinion poll was for what men want. Guess. How did you guess so quickly?
Yes. They want beautiful women with big breasts. They like beautiful women with big breasts and an open pleasant personality. They like beautiful women who want plenty of sex. For this a poll was wasted? For this some academic has written a Ph.d?
But I can do an opinion poll and save money on what women want.
George Clooney and a very large bank account. You see? It works both ways. And if Clooney isn't available then the large bank account will do. So? Okay! I'm not fussy!!!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Freedom of Speech.
We are on the very verge of losing it. This current government are hard at work to curb free speech. If it isn't in their favor they don't like it. Of course nobody likes adverse comments on their achievements or lack of them. And political bias has always existed. But as they say, "I don't agree but I will defend your right to say it".
At the moment there are steps underway by the Greens Party to hold an enquiry into what their leader considers to be adverse commentary on his party's policies. The Greens have formed an alliance with another party and gained power far beyond the mandate or lack of it by Australia's citizens.
I shudder when I think of the precedent set during WWII by Hitler. We saw the results of that.
We need to be vigilant. Drop your political beliefs. The right to say what you think, right or wrong is much more important.
At the moment there are steps underway by the Greens Party to hold an enquiry into what their leader considers to be adverse commentary on his party's policies. The Greens have formed an alliance with another party and gained power far beyond the mandate or lack of it by Australia's citizens.
I shudder when I think of the precedent set during WWII by Hitler. We saw the results of that.
We need to be vigilant. Drop your political beliefs. The right to say what you think, right or wrong is much more important.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
What will they think of next...
Shopped supermarket on the internet. Registration is terrible. Eg. on the address they asked if it's business or residence... a little dot let's them know.
Then later they ask me what the House Nickname is... huh? Zara's little house on the prairie? Lady Penney's Palace?
I had to ring. It kept on getting rejected.
Oh that's simple ma'am. You just say if it's house or residence.
But you already asked me that...
Who am I to question some nerd designer with a ponytail and drives a porche...
So guess what... the bleedin' bloomin' unobvious worked and...
next morning I unpacked my goodies in the luxury of my kitchen without having to bust a gut hawking the stuff up the front steps...
a writer could get used to this.
Then later they ask me what the House Nickname is... huh? Zara's little house on the prairie? Lady Penney's Palace?
I had to ring. It kept on getting rejected.
Oh that's simple ma'am. You just say if it's house or residence.
But you already asked me that...
Who am I to question some nerd designer with a ponytail and drives a porche...
So guess what... the bleedin' bloomin' unobvious worked and...
next morning I unpacked my goodies in the luxury of my kitchen without having to bust a gut hawking the stuff up the front steps...
a writer could get used to this.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Go the F***k to Sleep...
The book arrived yesterday. Author Adam Mansbach. It's clever and looks like a children's picture book. Nicely illustratored by Ricardo Cortes. Dangerous in a household of kids reading picture books. I hate censorship, but...
As a writer and illustrator of children's book I object to this book looking like what it isn't. Here's an example of some text:
The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
It's been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fu*k? Go to sleep.
I'm not a prude. It's a great book. Just a little bit dangerous for kid control in a household with real kids in it.
That's all folks. Nuf said.
As a writer and illustrator of children's book I object to this book looking like what it isn't. Here's an example of some text:
The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
It's been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fu*k? Go to sleep.
I'm not a prude. It's a great book. Just a little bit dangerous for kid control in a household with real kids in it.
That's all folks. Nuf said.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
BBC and Jane Austen.
I'm a fan of Jane Austen. But the marriage of the BBC and Austen is a miracle made in Heaven. I just cannot tire of anything they render in the historical genre. They do it so well and with such dignity.
I watched a new video just purchased. A new (for me) version of
Sense and Sensability.
Women had such a uphill battle for property rights. We get a sense of it in Pride and Prejudice with the cousin due to inherit the property with the lack of sons, and in Sense and Sensability, we see three young women and their mother relegated to the charity of a relative, while their half brother inherits the property and is persuaded by his evil wife there is no merit in over generosity in the upkeep of a promise to make sure the women are all secure in his care.
This seems an exaggeration, but I have seen that this happens in reality as late as the 1850's. The daughter of one of Australia's earliest free settlers, Mr. Mitchell the Surveyor General of the new settlement of New South Wales, and the name behind the NSW main Library (Mitchell Library). He had a vast library of books, and his offspring were all very well educated, even the girls, but once he was dead, his son soon let down the wife and daughters, despite a large portion of dowry brought to the marriage by Mrs. Mitchell. The brother was a drunk and a gambler and had other places to waste his money.
If anyone is interested the young lady's name is Blanche Mitchell. She is one of the last graves in the Newtown Cemetery buried next to her father. She died at an early age of consumption, but kept some significant diaries which are available in print. An insight into the life of a girl in the 1850's and the life she led in NSW during that time.
The most surprising thing is that a fifteen year old in 1850 is no different to a fifteen year old in 2011.
I watched a new video just purchased. A new (for me) version of
Sense and Sensability.
Women had such a uphill battle for property rights. We get a sense of it in Pride and Prejudice with the cousin due to inherit the property with the lack of sons, and in Sense and Sensability, we see three young women and their mother relegated to the charity of a relative, while their half brother inherits the property and is persuaded by his evil wife there is no merit in over generosity in the upkeep of a promise to make sure the women are all secure in his care.
This seems an exaggeration, but I have seen that this happens in reality as late as the 1850's. The daughter of one of Australia's earliest free settlers, Mr. Mitchell the Surveyor General of the new settlement of New South Wales, and the name behind the NSW main Library (Mitchell Library). He had a vast library of books, and his offspring were all very well educated, even the girls, but once he was dead, his son soon let down the wife and daughters, despite a large portion of dowry brought to the marriage by Mrs. Mitchell. The brother was a drunk and a gambler and had other places to waste his money.
If anyone is interested the young lady's name is Blanche Mitchell. She is one of the last graves in the Newtown Cemetery buried next to her father. She died at an early age of consumption, but kept some significant diaries which are available in print. An insight into the life of a girl in the 1850's and the life she led in NSW during that time.
The most surprising thing is that a fifteen year old in 1850 is no different to a fifteen year old in 2011.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A bit of a jolt.
I collapsed on Thursday. Had a seizure and got transferred to a major hospital by ambulance. My daughter insisted I go to the ER, and while there the seizure happened. The collapse cost me five stitches to my scalp. Apparently the excessive bleed is typical of a head wound according to the doctor.
The whole incident was a wakeup call. Change your life style or perish.
I still have so many things to do. Too much to write. Too many stories in my head. This wakeup call was a Godsend.
I recommend anyone who is delaying a few little self reforms to do a large rethink.
And scaring the one person who has been my brick, my beautiful daughter, was about the lowest I could ever sink without being in Atlantis just before it sank below the ocean.
The whole incident was a wakeup call. Change your life style or perish.
I still have so many things to do. Too much to write. Too many stories in my head. This wakeup call was a Godsend.
I recommend anyone who is delaying a few little self reforms to do a large rethink.
And scaring the one person who has been my brick, my beautiful daughter, was about the lowest I could ever sink without being in Atlantis just before it sank below the ocean.
Monday, August 1, 2011
A friend's father died this week...
When I got the new it was hard to just say "sorry". What can one say? I didn't know him, and he was high demand in those final years. Blind, sick, but still lived in his own house. He needed high care and he was a cranky old man when he wanted to be. But she was a good daughter and when he should have been in a nursing home, he didn't want to be there and she catered to his wish.
But he wasn't a happy soul.
Lately I've been wondering if there isn't quality of life, why hang on. Seems to be a natural urge in humanity to do so. And makes suicide look quite ominous.
Old age is depressing. And the closer I get to it, the more I feel about it.
But he wasn't a happy soul.
Lately I've been wondering if there isn't quality of life, why hang on. Seems to be a natural urge in humanity to do so. And makes suicide look quite ominous.
Old age is depressing. And the closer I get to it, the more I feel about it.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The Wiseness of being Wise.
A wise person has to think up something wise every day.
Um? Ahhh? mmmmm...
Eat Brussels Sprouts. It makes the rest of the meal taste better.
Um? Ahhh? mmmmm...
Eat Brussels Sprouts. It makes the rest of the meal taste better.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Stop dilly dallying and start running...
I'm watching my friend Zee flying through apres procrastinated procrastination and suffering great bouts of envy.
I've been encouraging her to set a goal of 1,000 words a day and so far, damn it, she's doing it. I told her to stop getting involved in politics and all those distractions that can frenzy us... and guess what?
She did.
And guess what?
she did.
And guess what?
She's almost finished.
And guess what?
The words started flowing.
And guess what?
It started to be much more than 1,000 a day. Even over 3,000.
And guess what?
I wish I could take my own advice and just get on with it!
You know the music of Chariots of Fire movie? I'm humming it right now. Good on you Zee.
I've been encouraging her to set a goal of 1,000 words a day and so far, damn it, she's doing it. I told her to stop getting involved in politics and all those distractions that can frenzy us... and guess what?
She did.
And guess what?
she did.
And guess what?
She's almost finished.
And guess what?
The words started flowing.
And guess what?
It started to be much more than 1,000 a day. Even over 3,000.
And guess what?
I wish I could take my own advice and just get on with it!
You know the music of Chariots of Fire movie? I'm humming it right now. Good on you Zee.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
For all those no readers...
I am in the doldrums. Self induced and distracted I sit here with blog guilt. I haven't blogged in ages and all my no fans are so disappointed and are sending me no mail complaining about my no blogging.
I apologise to my lovely no fans.
I apologise to my lovely no fans.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Hugging Heaters
Winter has a habit of bringing out the wooz in me. In summer I declare quite openly how I love winter better. But the girl doesn't always tell the whole truth. In fact winter is lovely when you are warm.
Being warm is all that matters.
Being warm is all that matters.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Love Thy Character
If I want your story I have to love your character. You have to make me care. Otherwise why would I read it?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Visiting old stories...
When you return to your novel after some time, and see it with new eyes, you also realise how much you've learned in the meantime.
Friday, May 27, 2011
The morning is optimistic by afternoon rainclouds...
I'm describing the weather, but it could very well be the writing process on some days. Sometimes you feel so optimistic but end up getting your knickers in a knot and worked up over some perceived blockage.
But I tend also to see problems like this as a kind of brain rage. You've done something to your character which might be out of character and embarking on a 'fork in the road' where you just get bogged and need your road service to come out and refill the tank with logic.
Our little writing group is growing. We are getting some interesting characters and with that the inspiration and motivation, hopefully will be fuelled on a daily basis. We had it before in our former group, and I do miss them all so much...
But new group, new hope, new friends, more nouns and verbs, bigger adjectives and a closer date with creative destiny, ie.,
FAME, FORTUNE, A PENTHOUSE ON FIFTH AVENUE (sigh).
But I tend also to see problems like this as a kind of brain rage. You've done something to your character which might be out of character and embarking on a 'fork in the road' where you just get bogged and need your road service to come out and refill the tank with logic.
Our little writing group is growing. We are getting some interesting characters and with that the inspiration and motivation, hopefully will be fuelled on a daily basis. We had it before in our former group, and I do miss them all so much...
But new group, new hope, new friends, more nouns and verbs, bigger adjectives and a closer date with creative destiny, ie.,
FAME, FORTUNE, A PENTHOUSE ON FIFTH AVENUE (sigh).
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Hugging heaters, Barking Dogs, and Playful Verbs
Rough trots are not very nice. My computer problems set me on a path to a new computer. I'm not good with new computers. It's like walking down the aisle with a complete stranger. I'm supposed to feel comfy with this new little monster in my life and immediately start interacting with ease.
Instead I fainted. What an awful feeling, waking up and finding yourself in a heap. Stress. Just everything piling itself one on top of the other. Normally I can handle it. But this one just culminated in a heap. Banged my hand. Damaged a ring. Bruised, battered and befuddled.
It's cold. I'm hugging the heater tightly. Competing with dog. I get the heater when she's outside barking up the neighbors. So annoying because unless I beat her, my only other option is to join her. And at times my bark is worse than my bite.
Playful verbs. I just made that up. I suppose they are friendly verbs. You have to be in a good mood to have them. Yesterday they were, shopping, eating, laughing.
Today they are aren't all that nice. Today they're all about getting used to this new keyboard. Today they are taking out rubbish to the bin. Today they are looking for my Kindle.
Oh... must tell you about a new find and buy. (Good verbs, well done!)
As you may or may not know, I love Jane Austen. And you may or may not know Borders in Oz is having awful difficulties (I suspect Amazon is the major contributor) and closing down most outlets bar, one or two. So with bargains galore in closing store I was able to purchase a book titled THE CONFESSION OF FITZWILLIAM DARCY - Mary Street. Fully recommended. Follows the novel from his POV very very well.
Normally I hate this type of infringement on the integrity of an author's work, but it works well. She has been faithful to the intentions of the author, and hasn't tried trickery. I enjoyed it so much, I hope it takes it's own little place in history. Obviously Street loves Austen too and didn't want to stretch the friendship.
This has been the coldest Australian month of May in 41 years. I won't tell you that I'm a climate skeptic. I won't remind you that a few decades ago we were told of a coming ice age. I do believe in changing climate. But we've had it since the beginning of time if there is such a thing.
Didn't Galileo strike problems by defying the conventions of opinion of his time?
Instead I fainted. What an awful feeling, waking up and finding yourself in a heap. Stress. Just everything piling itself one on top of the other. Normally I can handle it. But this one just culminated in a heap. Banged my hand. Damaged a ring. Bruised, battered and befuddled.
It's cold. I'm hugging the heater tightly. Competing with dog. I get the heater when she's outside barking up the neighbors. So annoying because unless I beat her, my only other option is to join her. And at times my bark is worse than my bite.
Playful verbs. I just made that up. I suppose they are friendly verbs. You have to be in a good mood to have them. Yesterday they were, shopping, eating, laughing.
Today they are aren't all that nice. Today they're all about getting used to this new keyboard. Today they are taking out rubbish to the bin. Today they are looking for my Kindle.
Oh... must tell you about a new find and buy. (Good verbs, well done!)
As you may or may not know, I love Jane Austen. And you may or may not know Borders in Oz is having awful difficulties (I suspect Amazon is the major contributor) and closing down most outlets bar, one or two. So with bargains galore in closing store I was able to purchase a book titled THE CONFESSION OF FITZWILLIAM DARCY - Mary Street. Fully recommended. Follows the novel from his POV very very well.
Normally I hate this type of infringement on the integrity of an author's work, but it works well. She has been faithful to the intentions of the author, and hasn't tried trickery. I enjoyed it so much, I hope it takes it's own little place in history. Obviously Street loves Austen too and didn't want to stretch the friendship.
This has been the coldest Australian month of May in 41 years. I won't tell you that I'm a climate skeptic. I won't remind you that a few decades ago we were told of a coming ice age. I do believe in changing climate. But we've had it since the beginning of time if there is such a thing.
Didn't Galileo strike problems by defying the conventions of opinion of his time?
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