Taken on the tag challenge at Coward's Castle.
Thirteen things I can never find in Cowards Castle.
A pen when I need it. People always ring me when they know I don't have a pen or paper. Therefore their phone number to ring back gets written on an envelope, the tv times - it was easier when I was a smoker.
My shopping list. It's a miracle if I remember to take it. But the odd times I remember it, I can't find it. Leave it in the car. Wherever it goes it ain't to me.
Car keys. Alas it's true. It's a miracle whenever I can find them. I must say though that the inventive places I lose them in I should be admired for. Or something like that.
Socks from the washing. Somewhere out there in the Land of Sox, are the mates to the ones that decide to stay at Coward's Castle. A lot of divorce goes on in my washing machine. It's a Fischer and Paykel. Maybe if I tried another brand?
Scissors. I keep buying them. They keep going missing. Is there some message I'm supposed to be comprehending?
Filing. I am in charge of filing in this house. Bills. Warranties. Accounts. Insurance details. So why is it that when He Who Should be Obeyed turns to me and says:
"Can I have a copy of..."
My blood runs cold as an arctic winter (writers say things like that - cold isn't enough) and I know... I know... that even though it was filed IN THE RIGHT SPOT at the time, that I'm not going to be able to find it. He Who Should be Obeyed has once again zoned in on the one thing in my system which is not immediately available. And he turns self righteously to She Who hasn't Obeyed and says:
"I don't know. You couldn't run a chicken raffle"
(But then; Who in their right mind would want to run a chicken raffle.)
Shoe. One of my weaknesses is SHOES. I never get ready to go anywhere until the last minute. My internal wiring won't allow me to be a careful person who plans everything in advance. I pack at the last minute for journeys. I only remember the shopping list after I've left home. So I'm in a hurry to find the other shoe out of the pile in my wardrobe. I love my shoes but my shoes hate me. The minute the wardrobe door closes they all scramble to have illicite swapping parties.
Photo. I know I've got it. I know I do. So where is it? Where is that photo I only just filed? Where is it? Where is it? Why can't I find it?
Glasses. We play chasies all day long.
Book. I have a huge library. I know every single one of them. They are my friends. I know I can google but there is nothing like a book. I cannot borrow a book. I must have it. I must have it in my library. It must be there. I cannot use a library. I cannot be trusted in a library. I am one of life's possessors. So why the hell can't I find what I'm looking for? I know what colour the jacket is. I know exactly where it should be but isn't. But gets back to it's spot when I am not looking for it.
DVD. So I'm in the mood for it. I want to watch it. Imust watch it now. They are all filed in alphabetical order. One of the few orderly things I do in this place. So where is it now? I cannot compromise. The more it's missing the more my desire to see it. So where is it now?
Internet Passwords. Including this one. One of the hazards of modern life is passwords. I try to keep the KISS method. For those of you who are not aware, this is a basic system. Keep it Simple Stupid. But the demand for variance is increasing.
Oooh phew only one more needed. This 13 thing ain't all that easy.
Well the daddy (or Mother) of all losing is my...