Yes. I have a sorry tail to tell. I waved goodbye to it not too long ago and I ache. The tail belongs to my ex best friend.
The one with the tag in the front of the book that claims him as my rock. The one to whom I dedicated my first anthology story.
The tail end of a marriage full of love 35 years of total love and dedication.
But I have two new best friends.
My darling children. I've discovered what a beautiful bunch of people my ex-best friend made.
They are bewildered and as skittled as am I. We were such a tight little family and now we've been skittled by a huge bowling ball.
It hurts like hell, it sure does. Hurts so much that I think I have writer's block for the first time in my life. I can't do it at the moment, partly because I am basically a writer of comedy. And I can't really find anything funny in life at the moment.
How long will this take to get over? I don't know. My dreams are horrendous. Loss of self esteem is so big I never knew it could get to be this big. Are the days long? Yes. Am I forever beginning to jigsaw things into one piece? Dunno, but little bits of evidence of the lead up are beginning to fall into place, and I can sort of work out about what time the ex-best friend was buying the bowling ball.
Do I hate the woman who took him? Yes I wish she'd fall off a mountain or get crushed by an avalanche, or that if she is on a boat it will sink, but it's not really her that I know I should be angry with.
Have my children got huge issues to deal with? A huge yes...on what is a relationship, since their whole belief system has been crushed. OH YES! To them we were almost an institution. Like a building that could never fall.
At the moment if you asked me what I feel like - I'd cryptically tell you like Pompeii.
If you understand that then you are on the same wavelength as me and you understand.