A bed time story for Zee.

Today Zee asked me for a bed time story. She wanted me to tell you about Altolvo the Magnificent of Italy. Of his fame, his daring. The man who was a white albino dwarf, and the Count of Mercato of Sicily. Well Zee, here is your wish...


Of course albinos dwarves with diabetes are quite common in Mercato. Indeed Sicily is well known for its mafiosa, its markets and its albino dwarves. But how did it come about. The mafiosa, the markets and albino dwarves.

Back in ancient times, Sicily was much desired by both Italy and many of the Mediterranean states from Egypt to Africa. It is said that the Queen of Sheba herself desired it above all else but despite all of Solomon’s wisdom and wealth, it was the one crown jewel he was unable to bestow upon her.

You see the secret of Sicily’s success is the Count of Mercato. The court of Count Mercato was a rich and wealthy place. It’s influence spread far and wide, and his army was so powerful. Nobody ever really understood why. In fact they never understood, though it was boasted about, this huge army, nobody ever saw any evidence of it. No! Absolutely none! Not a single guard. Not a single soldier.

Yet if one googles properly one can continually find mention of Altolvo the Magnificent. He was said to be one of the greatest Sicilian generals of all time. And led his fearless followers into battle.

And hence this tiny island has nestled in eternal safety amongst those that have continually desired its central Mediterranean geography. Where wine grows in abundance and fruit of the land is rich and generous. Where olive groves shade the hot and weary. And wear goats offer generous milks which readily transform into cheeses such as feta and yoghurts and Philadelphia Cream Halumi.

Now you might be asking what albino dwarves? Of course you have never seen one. There isn’t even a likeness of the great Altolvo himself. Not a single sculpture nor sketch nor carving. Nor description. Yet his memory is so vivid amongst Sicily’s native sons and daughters. It is because they all had sugar diabetes. They are small, white and melt away in the heat.

Eventually they sent their sons to all parts of the world. Where the breed grew both in numbers and stature. We have all known the activities of these descendants of the Sicilian albino dwarves. They flourished especially in the United States of America in the twenties during the prohibition. The alcohol proved most beneficial to the particular kind of Sicilian albino dwarfism. The most famous of them was Marlon Brando followed by Al Pacino, and James Caan. Yes you are surprised. All three of them are descended from the famous white albino dwarves of Sicily. Yes, I know you are shocked and never suspected this. But listen to that song, that famous song, you are humming it inside your head. It will probably stay with you all day long. In fact it was written on the spirits of the ancestors of these men and others.

The albino dwarves of Sicily.

But it is all true. Just Google it and see for yourself.